cereola war on us

It’s bad enough when your vacation home sits next door to a man who believes he invented a combination ray gun and sound system that neutralizes radioactivity from the reactor accident in Fukushima, Japan. It's an entirely different problem when his wife claims that she and her husband are the descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. I’ve written about my neighbor John Hutchison and his ray guns before; you can read about it here, here, and here, but I recently discovered this biblical gem by his wife Nancy on a message board at the Cosmic Token: "John's family is native American on his mother's side, and Scottish on his father's. Both his father (and lineage) were Knights Templar. My father's family was Knight's Templar. And we both are on the bloodline of the the [sic] dude they call Jesus and Mary Magdalene." Holy crap! That’s a lot of blaspheme. I’m an atheist and even I wouldn’t engage in that much heresy. She apparently gets her dogma from The Da Vinci Code. If I’m not mistaken, the Vatican has yet to canonize Dan Brown’s novel. On the message boards, Nancy repeatedly refers to Christ as the dude they call Jesus. Why? According to Nancy, Jesus is not his real name. "The word 'Jesus' translates into 'Hail Zeus'. There is a reason the dude's name was changed. And there are many things that were put into the 'Bible', that were not in the original documents. The name change is just one of many of these changes. 'Quotes of what supposedly the Jesus dude said, those were added." I’m sure the Jesus Dude is not too happy with the medieval scribes who put words in his mouth. You'll notice that I capitalized Dude, which seems appropriate when discussing the top Dude. I’m just glad Nancy has the original biblical documents to set us all straight. I wasted my time reading the King James version. John Hutchison isn't Nancy's only celestial coupling. Her first husband was a decedent of the Ark Dude. "before I married John, I was married to Lazarayn, an Armenian' he used to speak about the Caucasian Mountains that his people are direct descendants of Noah that Noah's Ark is on Mount Ararat..used to be Armenia, now Turkey" I just have one question: Are they still called the Caucasian Mountains after the snow melts? Maybe she meant the Caucasus Mountains, but they're not in Turkey. Who knows, maybe the Hutchison Effect can move mountains too.